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This is gunna hurt...

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What's worse than finding ants in your kitchen?
A truckload of dead babies.

via: Anti Joke
What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

via: Anti-Pickup Line
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"They’re made in America, of course, so fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy."

via: Clarksonisms

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